bad day, good night

At 7:00 tonight, I was lying in bed wallowing in my worry about everything – how even though I’m trying to parent as best I can I know I’m screwing my kids up somehow, how taking time off work is affecting my career and our finances, how easily this morning’s panic attack came after reading some tragic news.  With a kitchen full of dinner dishes downstairs and kids just about ready to be put to bed, I wondered if I was going to have the energy to contribute to my household tonight. 

Then I remembered a few other things: my husband was downstairs with the kids and was probably already cleaning up the kitchen, we live just a few blocks from stairs that lead up the escarpment, I’m in control of my own life (or at least I can be on a good day).  With that, I got out of my pjs and brushed my teeth for the first time today, (I know, gross but I just can’t help it some days), kissed my kids goodnight and headed for the stairs.

And I’m so glad I did because I would have missed this view.

It’s amazing what four trips up and down a flight of 228 stairs can do for your body and mind.  It’s just so peaceful and allowed me to think of the things I did well today: I kissed my husband and my kids a bazillion times each, I did two loads of laundry, I made a delicious dinner and at the end of the day, I took care of me.  Yup, I done good.